


In my heart, a lover

by deepestbluest



Category: Naruto
Genre: Established Relationship, It sounds kinky but this is ninety percent Iruka being exasperated, M/M, Masks, What is love if not awkward roleplay?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:54:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24358390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deepestbluest/pseuds/deepestbluest
Summary: “Is my happiness not a good cause?” Kakashi asks, looking at Iruka hopefully.Iruka straightens his papers against the desk with a sharp thump. “It is not.”
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka
Comments: 14
Kudos: 164





	In my heart, a lover

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jessicamiriamdrew](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jessicamiriamdrew/gifts).



> I was goofing around when jessicamiriamdrew suggested that I take my joke and use it as the starting lines of a fic, and I do like a challenge, so here we are
> 
> The title is from "give/take" by Mr.Kitty, which I'm pretending isn't a sad song because this isn't a sad fic

“Is my happiness not a good cause?” Kakashi asks, looking at Iruka hopefully.

Iruka straightens his papers against the desk with a sharp thump. “It is not.”

Sighing, Kakashi sinks back into his chair. “What's the point of dating if we aren't going to have fun? Besides, it's a traditional Kiri event we’re hosting. You'd be helping foster inter-village cooperation.”

“Good question,” Iruka says tightly. “What _is_ the point of us dating?”

Kakashi looks at him evenly. “You know I didn't mean it like that.”

“I do.” Iruka sets the stack of papers on Kakashi’s desk and rubs at his forehead with both hands. “Sorry, Kakashi. I'm in a bad mood because I'm still getting used to the demands of being vice principal. That was unfair of me.”

“Even though I'm the one who pushed you to take the test?”

Kakashi’s grin is clear through his mask, and despite being tired and not in the mood to do anything but go home, take a shower, and sleep off the day, Iruka feels a burst of affection for him.

He isn't so tired he can't lean in and peck Kakashi’s cheek.

With Kakashi, a little peck is never enough, though. Iruka knows that.

Even knowing it's partly his fault, Iruka can't help but scowl as he makes his way down the tower stairs later, red-faced and holding a strategically placed clipboard in front of himself.

It's been a long time since he and Kakashi had more than a few moments together. Up in the hokage’s office was the most time they've had together in more than two months.

Iruka misses him.

He doesn't miss Kakashi so much that he’ll trade a rare night in to attend an event like tonight’s, though- anything that draws the five kage is going to last longer than Iruka has the energy to stay awake through. If they were married, that would be one thing, but an advantage of only dating the hokage is that Iruka isn't expected to attend functions with him.

If he's also wary of the particular type of event they're throwing, he's a ninja. It's in his nature to be skeptical of people whose faces he can't see.

⁂

Clean and showered, Iruka drops face first into bed with a sigh. He's so tired he could fall asleep right now, no bedtime reading necessary.

Although, he doesn't usually need any- Kakashi is the one who likes to read in bed. Before their schedules got so crowded, Kakashi stayed over often enough that he'd left one of his books on Iruka’s dresser.

“I'm not doing this,” Iruka says into his pillow rather than look at the book and its lurid yellow cover. “I'm tired, and he didn't even ask properly.”

That's right. If Kakashi had actually asked instead of dropping inscrutable hints for a week then trying to convince Iruka by batting his lashes, Iruka would have understood what was going on and might have agreed to go with him. It's not as if Iruka is so fundamentally opposed to it he would have flat out refused.

There are differences between them, though, and as easily as Kakashi sets them aside, Iruka has to work at it.

Freedom from judgment is something more impressive people can feel, not Vice Principal Umino Iruka. Kakashi won't risk damaging Konoha’s reputation by being the worst hokage in history as he threatens, but his mind occupies a space far above Iruka, who can't just ignore gossip and speculation.

Keeping up with Kakashi and his disregard for opinion can be difficult, if not impossible.

Rolling onto his back, Iruka draws a deep breath and reminds himself that Kakashi still owes him for getting him out of that uncomfortable meeting with the tsuchikage. Kakashi can suffer through a mask party.

⁂

Spotting Kakashi in the large, crowded room is easy. 

Everyone else is either paired up or in a group, and even if he'd found company, Kakashi is the only one who opted to blindfold himself.

He also managed to find a cape with a cowl he was able to pull up high enough to hide most of his face below the blindfold.

“That's an interesting choice,” Iruka says, sliding into the unoccupied chair next to Kakashi, who opted to sit at a table in a dark corner. “If a mask is supposed to hide your identity, a blindfold hides other people’s, doesn't it?”

Kakashi hums a little to himself, facing the party instead of Iruka. “As you know, it's not much of a sacrifice for me to be unable to see.”

“As I know? Have we met, Shinobi-san?”

Kakashi turns toward him sharply, and Iruka clears his throat.

“We're all strangers here, aren't we?”

They definitely aren't. The masks range from little more than splashes of face paint to wild constructs that must outweigh the heads they're attached to, but the veneer of anonymity is thin.

Kakashi, who would have put his blindfold on after he got in, must know that. “We are,” he says slowly. “What brought you here?”

“To the party or to you?”

“Either. Both.”

“Well, I came to the party hoping to find a certain person. He's nowhere to be found, though. It's unfortunate; I was hoping to spend the evening with him. I guess I’m looking for other company now.” Kakashi arches an eyebrow at him, and Iruka can't help reaching for the back of his neck, face heating. He really isn't very good at this. “Too forward?”

“Not really.” Kakashi shifts in his chair so he's sitting sideways. He leans his elbow on the back of the chair and lazily crosses one leg over the other, neatly slipping into a pose that says he's listening but only because he's bored.

Iruka knows him too well to fall for it. The studied uninterest means Kakashi is playing along, and that's more of a thrill than Iruka had anticipated.

“Well?” Kakashi prompts. “What made you come talk with the one person here who can't appreciate your efforts?”

“Curiosity.”

Kakashi’s eyebrow arches higher- he's genuinely curious now.

It's unusual for him to be at a disadvantage like this. He's a genius and one of the strongest ninjas in the world… Even in fights with someone on the same level, Kakashi makes up the ground quickly.

Exited at the prospect of spending an evening leading Kakashi around for once, Iruka lets himself smile; it's going to be fun to find out how Kakashi tries to do that here.

“Curiosity about my choice of mask?” is Kakashi's first gambit.

“Somewhat. It isn't quite as interesting as the woman with the flat, solid mask that covers her entire head. She hasn't passed out yet, so she must be getting air somehow.”

Not as smooth as it could have been- Iruka is genuinely curious- but Kakashi tilts his head.

He's curious, too.

Now they're both thinking about the wrong thing.

“Any other ideas?” Iruka asks, trying to get them back on track.

Kakashi doesn't say anything at first; Iruka can feel the weight of his attention as he tries to guess.

He leans into the mythos around him that says he's a loner and devoutly non-competitive, but Iruka has seen him go up against Gai often enough to know that isn't quite true.

Kakashi will work hard if you dangle a big enough carrot in front of him. Usually that means protecting the village or keeping a teenage Naruto from getting himself killed, but there are other things he’ll work for.

From the feeling of impatience pouring off him, this is one of them.

“Curiosity about the blindfold, then,” Kakashi says after a moment- he's impatient and petulant now.

Iruka swallows the urge to scold him for giving up already.

“That's the same thing. Try again.”

Kakashi crosses his arms. “How about a clue?”

“Other people.”

Iruka knows in the pit of his belly that if Kakashi’s face weren't covered up, he'd be openly glaring.

“You want to know why I'm sitting alone.”

“That's part of it.”

“And the rest?”

“Are you giving up?”

Iruka bites his cheek at Kakashi’s obvious frustration.

So this is what it's like being on the other end of things- Iruka suddenly has a better understanding of Kakashi’s fondness for poking at him.

“Yes, I'm giving up,” Kakashi admits.

“I was curious about all the people you rejected,” Iruka explains. He's being overgenerous. Kakashi wasn't rejecting people so much as he was being so far from fun that the people who'd come by left on their own. “You could have had all sorts of company. If their appearance isn't what you're rejecting them for, what could it be?”

“And why did I let you stick around?” Kakashi fills in.

“Well, that's a question I had after I decided to come over, but yes, I do wonder about that- not as much as the answer to my first question, which you still haven't answered.”

The back and forth could be easier; it feels less like their usual teasing and more like their early days of being hokage and vice principal- too focused on details on Iruka’s end, too much trying just to finish things on Kakashi’s.

It hadn't dissuaded Kakashi back then, though, and it isn't dissuading him now.

“You’re bold,” Kakashi says after a moment. “Since I can't see it, does that match your mask?”

He says it like a pickup line, and in this dark room full of masked people, it's going to be one.

Holding out a hand, Iruka says, “Give me your hand and I’ll let you find out.”

Kakashi does, and Iruka knows he chose well when he touches the back of Kakashi’s hand to the edge of his mask and Kakashi’s fingers twitch, reflexively trying to close around it.

“That's-” Kakashi stops himself.

Falling silent, he traces the edge of the mask with his thumb.

Iruka can feel Kakashi’s curiosity like a living thing.

This is a shortcut, one that relies on their history together, but he can't see Kakashi holding it against him.

As seconds become a full minute with Kakashi doing nothing but lightly tracing the mask where it meets Iruka’s face, Iruka can't help but start to doubt his choice.

The meeting before the party was supposed to be nothing more than a formality, but something might have come up. If that's the case, Kakashi’s position away from the rest of the group might be more than simple disappointment…

“Is anything keeping you here?” Kakashi asks, voice light as he retrieves his hand.

Startling, Iruka shakes his head. “No,” he says in case Kakashi couldn't catch the motion.

“Then let's go.”

“Go?” Iruka asks. “Go where?”

Kakashi pauses in the middle of getting up. His hood shifts as he tilts his head.

Iruka would ask as Kakashi towed him away, but they aren't playing by the normal rules.

At least Iruka isn't the only one trying to remember that.

“Somewhere less crowded,” Kakashi says, reclaiming his hand and getting to his feet. “There's something I want to show you.”

“You want me to go somewhere with a man I don't know?” Iruka parries, just to see what Kakashi will do.

“I suppose I do, but I’m the one who's blindfolded, so really, I'm the one at your mercy.”

His logic is far from sound. Kakashi is already blind in one eye. Covering the other doesn't hold him back the way it hinders other people.

Iruka has a suspicion that Kakashi chose the blindfold because he could relax more by not having to see anything at all, momentarily not forced to compensate for his limited range of vision.

The reason for his choice could just as easily be that he was feeling whimsical or difficult, but Iruka tries to keep an eye on Kakashi's quirks.

Kakashi holds his hand out, and despite knowing they’re both cutting corners, Iruka takes it.

He lets Kakashi twine their fingers together and pretends not to know Kakashi is holding onto him harder than he needs to.

“So? Where are we going?” Iruka asks as they make their way out of the main room.

“This way,” Kakashi says instead of answering. He walks faster, tugging Iruka along after him.

“Where are you- For real?” Iruka sighs as he realizes what the door Kakashi led them to is for. “A supply closet? What are you going to show me in there? Your broom skills?”

Kakashi isn't smiling, but Iruka can hear the smile in his voice as Kakashi innocently suggests, “How about a good time?”

A groan of resignation slips out of Iruka.

He loves Kakashi, but this really wasn't easy for him. Kakashi wanted to play dress up with him and Iruka had thought playing along with him might be more of that- playing.

Kakashi’s cavalier attitude about his own well-being tends to look like playfulness, but it's just another mask.

Iruka likes Kakashi best when he isn't hiding; without the world ending around them, Kakashi can be actually playful sometimes. Sometimes it's little things like stealing Iruka’s paperwork and refusing to give it back until Iruka gives him a kiss. Sometimes it's tying Iruka’s apron to things at home.

This was always going to be where things led, but Iruka had hoped he'd get to enjoy baiting him in return for a while.

“Come on, then,” Iruka says, pushing past Kakashi into the closet. “You're not showing me anything in the hallway.”

Iruka isn't about to pass up on time with Kakashi, even if he'd hoped they'd do better than putting his hand down Kakashi's pants in a tiny, musty room.

Kakashi follows him in and closes the door, but before Iruka can say anything, Kakashi takes his hands.

“I really was going to play along.”

“I know.”

Kakashi shakes his head, cowl and hood dropping, and Iruka feels himself tugged backwards into Kakashi’s chest.

“I don't think you do,” Kakashi says quietly. “You came out here when you could have been at home in bed, but you chose to come do something silly for me.” He kisses the side of Iruka’s face. Tapping the mask with one finger, he lets his hand linger on Iruka’s face. “You chose this mask because it's the one I was wearing the first time we kissed, right? After that awful play the Fifth made us attend?”

“It’s such an obnoxious design, I thought you'd laugh when you saw me wearing it,” Iruka says around a sigh.

Kakashi pulls him closer. “Playing strangers was fun, but I don't want you to think of someone else when we’re together.”

“I wasn't,” Iruka points out.

“It was close enough.”

“Close e-”

His voice sticks in his throat as Kakashi kisses his neck.

It would be easy to stand like this and let Kakashi do what he wants- easy and fun, even though they're in a closet. Kakashi’s hands are warm as he slips them under Iruka’s shirt, his lips soft as he kisses Iruka’s neck again. He's always pretending to be things he isn't- bored, unaffected, careless, incompetent- but he can't keep his cool when he's getting something he wants.

Iruka tilts his head, looking for a kiss, but Kakashi only bumps their noses together.

“Hey,” Iruka complains.

Kakashi runs his hands down Iruka’s belly, his fingertips just dipping below the waistband of Iruka’s pants. Stroking the ticklish skin below Iruka’s navel, he hums questioningly.

He ducks his head, and when he kisses Iruka’s neck again, Iruka knows he's going to walk out of here with a hickey he can't hide.

Iruka shouldn't like the fact that Kakashi does that as much as he does, but as Kakashi runs his teeth over Iruka’s skin, Iruka’s lungs feel too small.

“Hey, Kakashi,” he says, breathing hard, “I've got an idea. Since we’re in here.”

“Later,” Kakashi agrees.

“It won't work later.”

Kakashi pauses. “What is it?”

“I'd rather show you.”

Reaching lower, pushing one hand past Iruka’s waistband, Kakashi palms him through his boxers. “Or you could tell me.”

He closes his hand, and Iruka lets the conversation drop as Kakashi strokes him slowly. In the time they've been apart, Kakashi has been letting Iruka know in progressively less subtle ways that he misses Iruka. The last two weeks especially have been an unending string of innuendos, accidental-on purpose collisions, and gestures Iruka would have been above acknowledging if he hadn't been missing Kakashi so much they'd worked.

“Hey,” Kakashi says against his ear, stroking Iruka slowly. “Tell me.”

Swallowing hard, Iruka tries to focus. “Like I said-”

Kakashi rocks his hips. “Please?”

Iruka closes his eyes. He did wish Kakashi were feeling playful; he should have been more specific.

“Well, if showing me is better, I can live with that.” Kakashi kisses Iruka’s neck. “I like it when you talk to me, and we've barely said anything to each other that wasn't about work. I can live with it if you want to make me wait a little longer.”

There's a smile in his voice, and Iruka contorts himself so he can kiss Kakashi.

It's a soft kiss. Kakashi leans into it with the same smile Iruka heard, the smile he can feel now, and as Iruka turns in Kakashi’s arms, he’s tempted to give into the urge to let Kakashi have his way.

He doesn't, though. He pushes Kakashi backwards until Kakashi’s back meets the wall, kissing him instead of answering the question he can feel Kakashi wanting to ask.

Kakashi must figure the answer out for himself when Iruka kneels down in front of him and tugs on the waistband of his pants.

“Iruka-”

“You don't want to?” Iruka asks, pausing with his hands- and Kakashi’s pants- just above Kakashi’s knees.

Kakashi shakes his head. “I do!”

“But?”

Kakashi coughs, and even in the weak light, Iruka can tell he's blushing.

“Kakashi? What's wro-”

Reaching behind his head, Kakashi unties the blindfold. He drops it as he reaches for Iruka’s face, and Iruka’s eyes fall closed at the warmth of Kakashi’s hands.

“You make me miss the Sharingan,” Kakashi says softly.

Eyes still closed, Iruka lets out a long, soft breath. “You dragged me here for a quickie in a closet in the middle of an official function and now you're saying that. You make things so difficult.”

“But you like me anyway.”

Chest tight with affection, Iruka opens his eyes. Kakashi meets his eyes, face soft and both eyes so bright only the scar gives away which is a prosthetic.

“That’s true.” Turning his head, Iruka kisses one of Kakashi’s palms. “I more than like you.”

“Iruka…”

“I’m not pushing,” Iruka promises. “I’m reminding you I don't do this for just anybody.”

Kakashi’s lips twitch. “Warning me I'm going to make it up to you later, you mean.”

“Smart man.”

Smiling widely, Kakashi strokes Iruka’s cheek.

“I like you, too.”

“You'll like me even more in a minute.”

Kakashi’s groan changes pitch as Iruka finishes pulling his pants down.

⁂

The raikage gives them a look that says he knows exactly what they were doing and is above saying so- but he does know, and he wants them to know they weren't sneaky.

With his blindfold back in place, Kakashi can't see A’s face, but there's no way he doesn't sense the annoyance and know whose it is.

Iruka’s face burns as he whispers, “I told you you were making too much noise!”

Blushing hard, Kakashi clears his throat.

As they reclaim their seats, though, he touches Iruka’s hand and says, “I more than like you.”

Iruka turns his hand over so he can lace their fingers together. “I’m glad, because I made a mess trying to find the mask and didn't clean it up.”

Kakashi heaves a sigh, but he doesn't let go of Iruka’s hand.

**Author's Note:**

> You can say hi on [tumblr](https://asotin.tumblr.com) if you'd like to!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [i don't want to keep secrets (just to keep you)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27690959) by [jessicamiriamdrew](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jessicamiriamdrew/pseuds/jessicamiriamdrew)




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